Why am I here again?

Two post in one day?? Yeah, I really should be cleaning my house, especially since my friend is coming to stay with us tonight and I have to be to work at 12:15. But I can't get this off my mind, so I thought I'd write it while it's there.

How in the world did I get this big?? I mean, I didn't just wake up one day weighing 240-some-odd pounds. (Disclaimer: I've lost 14 lbs in the last 6 weeks, so I'm more like 220-some-odd pounds at the moment...) How did this happen? I've thought a lot about that over that last decade or so. And you know what? It really doesn't matter. Well, maybe it did matter at one time, because I needed to get to the root of my problem. Basically, my problem is I really, really like food. A lot. And I eat it when I'm stressed or depressed (or happy, or excited, or sad, or bored, or lonely....) So yea, I've had some stress in my life. Who hasn't? I've spent a lot of time analyzing my bad relationship with food and why I have it: I was the middle child who felt like her voice was never heard, I've been through financial stress pretty much from my teenage years on, my first child was born with Down Syndrome, my dad passed away from complications with diabetes, moving to Cedar when our house in California hadn't sold yet was stressful, I've had 3 miscarriages in the past 3 years and back surgery to boot.... etc....etc...etc. But really, it's life. Everyone has stuff to deal with. Everyone has losses and disappointments. Not everyone overeats to deal with life (though there are many, many of us who do). THAT is the root of the problem. Stress is NOT going to go away. Life is not going to be a piece of cake (ha,ha-- bad analogy!). So, I have to learn not to eat to deal with life. It's WAY harder than it sounds.