Struggling

I am struggling, and I decided I'd better post about that as well. I feel stuck. The weight loss has slowed down, even coming to a stand-still this past week. I skipped my weight-loss class for the first time this past Monday. I was afraid I hadn't lost and didn't want to get on the scale. I'm finding myself wanting to "leave out" or "adjust" food amount on my food log, and I'm craving junk. I feel like I'm slipping backwards toward old attitudes and behaviors. I don't want to do this! Help! And Halloween is coming up, so there will be tons of chocolate in the house. I'm so afraid that I won't have the strength to avoid the temptation. I really should have gone to class-- maybe I would've found some strength in the support there. Now I'm feeling guilty about all of these things and that makes the desire to overeat stronger. Yikes!  I find myself thinking about having a baby constantly now. I know the time is near, and I need to keep preparing my body for pregnancy. It's so hard to be patient-- I just want to hold my baby in my arms NOW!

 Maybe I'm putting too much focus on a certain weight goal. That is a big part of it, I think. I really wanted to get under 200 lbs. by the end of our weight loss challenge, but that is only a week and a half away, so it is  not really possible now. Maybe I need to readjust my goals. Maybe I'm putting way too much pressure on myself. Maybe I just need to take a deep breath, stop panicking, and focus on the true goal-- to become a healthier person. And I'm doing that. Tonight we had a Stake Relief Society meeting where they served us dinner. The main course was a delicious, healthy soup, thank goodness. But with it were delicious-looking Lion House orange rolls. They smelled like Fall and Christmas and Heaven all wrapped up together. I had a bite. It was amazingly good. Then I brought the rest of the roll home and gave it to Tim. No way I would've done that 4 months ago. I would've justified it and eaten all! So, I am progressing. The old temptations will come and go, but I have more strength and respect for my body now. I can resist. I will resist! (And I will continue telling myself this over and over and over until I truly believe it.....)